Bonding is something that we all believe will come naturally to us when we meet our baby. The reality can be far from that ideal.
"The process of ‘bonding’ means forming the emotional connection between yourself as parent and your baby. An important thing to remember with bonding is that it’s a process – building a relationship takes time." NCT
Difficulties bonding with your baby could be due to the following:
Your fertility journey, expectations and adjustment to pregnancy and motherhood.
Your own experiences of parental care – experiencing adverse life events in childhood.
Past or current mental health difficulties (antenatal or postnatal), such as depression, anxiety, OCD, postpartum psychosis, complex-PTSD, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder.
Difficulties in your current relationships, such as domestic abuse, isolation, poverty or young age.
The desire for perfection.
Birth trauma or a difficult birth experience.
Having a baby prematurely or having a baby with special needs or an illness.
Working with parents who have had their babies during lockdown, I am often told of the struggles they have faced. Yes, some parents have enjoyed the time together, just wrapped up in their own world, but others have desperately felt the need for outside help.
That help hasn't easily been available. Many women have given birth and had to endure seeing their birthing partners whisked off the premises just moments after. These women have found themselves in a lonely hospital bed with a tiny little human who solely depends on them and they must learn to care for it alone, despite going through a gruelling labour. Others are single mums, foster mums, teenage mums... ANY parent who has had to raise a baby during lockdown knows how tough it has been without that help from the outside.
Thank heavens for Zoom and online video platforms! Modern technology and social media can consume us, but sometimes it can save us. The glowing reviews I have received from parents who said they counted the days down until our baby massage session as it was the highlight of the week, or the parents who put aside a few minutes a day to practise what we have been learning. These reviews have made me warm and fuzzy inside as this is why I chose to leave behind the days of selling fizzy pop and go down this route instead.
Baby Massage for bonding is just incredible. I cannot shout loudly enough about the benefits it can bring. Just having that time to be so close to your baby. To stare into their eyes. To touch their gorgeous skin and learn their entire bodies and their cues. Your baby learns even more about you too. They get to really, really know you and spend such precious alone time with you, when nobody else and nothing else can interrupt.
As you massage your baby, trust and communication develops between you both.
The calming touch will make your baby feel loved and cared for, which in turn will release the happy hormones to you too.
I am aware not every issue can be solved with Baby Massage, but I would like to help you with the process and be part of the solution.
Always remember, you are not alone.